The Tantric Path of Sex & Spirituality

The Tantric Path of Sex

& Spirituality

This post was written by Community Partner, Pleasure Coach & Sex Educator Andrea Bertoli

I have been studying and practicing Tantra for years, and it’s one of my favorite things to share with my clients (and to practice). Tantra is a path to bliss that gives us access to the spiritual through sexuality, and allows sexuality to be sacred. It can be healing, connecting, playful, and reverent when you engage in Tantric practices with yourself and with others.

As a Holistic Pleasure Coach, I weave Tantric teachings into my sessions and classes in various ways, although I shy away from using the word Tantra in my classes for a few reasons. First, very often is that people have their own definitions and preconceived notions about what Tantra is. I often write and speak about conscious sex or mindful sex as these rather secular terms bring some groundedness (and familiarity) to this seeminging esoteric subject.

Another reason is that like yoga, Tantra is an historical, cultural, and religious practice that can alienate a lot of people. It is one of very few spiritual pathways that include expression and celebration of sexuality. Most of the world’s religions separate out spirituality and sexuality. For most of us this manifests as a deep discomfort in thinking about God and sex in the same realm. But, in my world, these are deeply connected.

Tantra is Conscious Sexuality

At the core, Tantra is both a spiritual practice that includes sex, and a path of sexuality that allows for the presence of the Divine.

Tantra is the primary pathway that I’ve followed in my journey towards conscious sexuality. It’s been a deeply healing process, and full of delicious sensual and sexual experiences—most of which I didn’t know were possible! My experience dancing in the realm of Tantra has also included deep emotional release, physical release, sexual healing, kinky play, and psychedelics to help access some of these deeper (and altered) states of energy, sensation, and emotion. Tantra has been the path that I’ve followed into workshops around the world, into conscious partnership with my Beloved, and onwards to my career path.

Tantra is a Practice

In the same way that yoga is a practice that needs attention, repetition, and exploration in order to access the deeper wisdom found within. Tantra offers us a pathway to sexual expression that takes time to access. We need to practice to open up, to peel away layers—there isn’t a shortcut to the spiritual dimensions that we can access through Tantra. In fact, there are many overlaps between sex and yoga that make understanding Tantra a bit easier (especially if you have an established yoga practice).

We access these levels of sexual expression through breath, through practices like eye-gazing, shared breath, visualizations, and sounding. Using techniques like eye-gazing and breathing is the quickest way for me to drop into deep connection with my partner, and help me remember the swirling undercurrent of sexual energy within. You, too, can access these connected states, with a practice partner or with a lover, with conscious attention and focus. Try these five foundational Tantric practices on this free worksheet.

Tantra is a Path to Self, Nature, and the Divine

Tantric traditions allow us to connect the sexual to the spiritual, and bring an element of spirituality or divinity to our sexual play. Conscious sexual play is much more than ‘junk food sex’ or ‘default sex’ wherein we rub body parts together until one/both people have a climax. Tantric practices allow us to swim in the realms of pleasure for endless amounts of time. There is no goal, no predictable outcome, only expression, surrender, and pleasure. To bring Tantric practices into your life means to completely reimagine what sex is and can be. It’s not an easy task, and yet, pushing the edges of bliss in our bodies is truly one of life’s greatest pleasures.

Tantra also allows us to learn to connect to the sexual energy within, the pulse that is always waiting under the surface. And, like psychedelics, MDMA, or other entheogenic medicines, deep sexual practices help us remember that this energy is actually all around—it’s in the trees, in the wind, in the ocean. We can find this connection (to Spirit, Universe, God, All-That-Is) when we pause and pay attention, and we can access this cosmic connection via sexual play, too, when we add in the conscious elements of attention and intention.

Once, I sat beside a small bay on the Big Island and tapped into that energy, breathing myself into an orgasmic state. I was making love with the ocean, the waves, the trees, the sun, my long-distance lover, and All That Is. This allows sex and pleasure to become a prayer, a state of being, a wave, and a dance all at once. This is the type of sex that will heal the world: since learning these practices I’ve done deep healing, experienced profound bliss, and connected to my partner in ways I didn’t know were possible.

This is available for all of us, all the time.

Please reach out to connect, and join my free monthly Mindful Sex events to dive into topics about sex and spirituality. On March 23 we’re talking about Sex as Yoga and how to weave together practices and wisdom for both yoga and Tantra.

More About the Author: I help people build stronger relationships, create intimate communication, explore their desires, and practice sensual connection in a grounded, holistic way. My approach to coaching and teaching uses tools from Tantra, mindfulness, and yoga to help you find new ways of relating to yourself and others, and will create space for you to rethink sex and pleasure.