Polyamory, open relationships, and all the other expressions of Ethical Non-Monogamy– are new and still unchartered frontiers in intimacy. There is no set path. If you decide to explore, here are some tools to help you navigate it:
Communication
Communication makes or breaks a relationship.
Whether you are in a polyamorous relationship, an open relationship, or practicing any other form of consensual non-monogamy, clear and open communication is essential for the health and well-being of all parties involved. Be honest and transparent about your own feelings and desires just as you listen to and respect the feelings, needs, and boundaries of your partners. Then, regularly check in to make sure that everyone’s feeling loved, seen, and needs are being met.
Practice empathy and understanding towards your partner(s). It’s important to remember that everyone has different needs and different ways of expressing love, and that’s okay. By being open and understanding of each other’s needs and desires, partners can create a relationship that is fulfilling and loving for everyone involved.
Being Non-Competitive
Keep an abundance mindset by understanding that there is enough love, affection and attention to go around. In a healthy polyamorous relationship, partners work together to create a fulfilling and loving relationship that works for all parties involved. You aren’t competing for affection, nor how many partners you can seduce.
By fostering a positive and supportive environment, you can help each other grow and thrive.
Boundaries
With communication, comes the establishment of boundaries. With clear boundaries in place, polyamorous relationships can thrive, and everyone can feel safe, respected and valued.
It’s best to involve all parties to make sure that everyone’s needs and desires are taken into account. This includes discussing things like what types of relationships are allowed, how often partners can see other people, and what types of physical and emotional intimacy are acceptable. It’s also important to establish boundaries around communication and transparency, such as how often partners should check in with each other and how much information should be shared about other relationships.
Additionally, it’s important to establish a system for dealing with any potential boundary violations and to establish a way to communicate if someone feels that a boundary has been crossed. It’s also important to establish a way to renegotiate the boundaries in case of a change in circumstances or new information.
Boundaries may not always be clear cut and they may evolve over time, so regularly check in with each other. Be open to the possibility of changing the boundaries as needed.
Be Present With Each Partner
Polyamory is about the ability to love, communicate, and connect more. So when you are with any partner, be with that partner. Be present enough to connect with them and give them attention, love and respect. Save outside communication with other lovers to when you’re on your own or with those other lovers.
Moving Through Jealousy
Jealousy can arise in any relationship, but it can be especially challenging in non-monogamous relationships.
But jealousy is entirely normal and –hopefully– entirely navigable if you can be honest with yourself and partners about it. By openly communicating with your partner(s), you can address any feelings of jealousy before they escalate. Talk to your partners about what’s causing the jealousy and how you’re feeling. This will give them the opportunity to reassure you and address any issues that may be contributing to your jealousy. This can help to prevent resentment and build a stronger foundation of trust and understanding.
Jealousy can be a sign of deeper issues, like a lack of self-esteem or a fear of abandonment. Take the time to understand the root cause of your jealousy and work on building up your own self-worth. This can help to reduce jealousy in the long term. It’s also essential to practice self-reflection and self-care.
